how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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