I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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