I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
