I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
