Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
id be glad to
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
