Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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