it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
