I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
