We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
