Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
