I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
After last night, I could never be a politician.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
