It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm always down for nudity.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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