I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He felt like a one man threesome
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dicks are not precious.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
