So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
