Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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