I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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