I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
