i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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