Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
