i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
