I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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