Well douche your snatch and let's go!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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