you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
