after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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