dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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