I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
