its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
