She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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