Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
They have beer where we have blood.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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