he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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