5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
