I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
