Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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