i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
