who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
