there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
