Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
