Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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