Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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