he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
