Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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