he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
