we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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