if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
