I wish I only lived at night.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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