Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize