and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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