my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
