i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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