I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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