Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
