You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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