david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
