just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
