This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
