I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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