But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
