Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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