Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
