my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
